Godfather's Day II

My goddaughter Vannah and I went out on a "date" last week to a new candy shop, where she read me a Dr. Seuss story and we shared delicious frozen yogurt. Aunt Rox came along too, and a grand time was had by all.

When we took her home, Vannah said "Bye!" and ran upstairs to play with her siblings and a 5-year-old visitor.

As we headed for home, it dawned on me that this date was notable for three reasons:

1. It was the first time Aunt Rox had come along with us.
2. It was the first time Vannah didn't throw me an unsolicited "I love you, Uncle Jim" at some random moment.
3. It was the first time she failed to kiss me goodbye.

Vannah is 8 years old now and getting noticeably taller. Her mother told me Vannah grew a whole shoe size in five weeks' time. You can tell her thought process is maturing and her awareness and understanding of the world around her are growing, too. She's becoming less passive and more interested in setting her own agenda.

These are good things. Still, with the sweet comes the bitter, and I'm realizing that she's not going to be my baby girl for much longer. I pray constantly for the life events and challenges she has yet to encounter, some of which are (I hope) decades down the road. I haven't lost sight of the present moment, but she's made me aware that it's a moving target.

With that in mind, here is this year's Father's Day offering, courtesy of former Hootie & the Blowfish frontman Darius Rucker:

Kiss me and say you understand

Memorial Day always meant a cookout at my parents' house. My father's birthday was May 26, and the holiday provided most of us an opportunity to get away from work and gather at the house for a party.

Dad knew how to play only one song on the piano, but that's still one more than I can play. He wasn't exactly Oscar Peterson on the keyboard, but we loved it -- loved it -- when he sat down to play Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen. It was an event, like his melodramatic recitation of "Casey at the Bat."

As far as I know, no one ever recorded Dad playing Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen in any format. So, by way of honoring him on this day, I offer this poor substitute:



So here's to you, Dad. Happy birthday. I know you're swingin' with Mom in heaven's ballroom. Next number: "Honey."

Oh! Beautiful!

No disrespect to Mr. Ray Charles, but holy mama! His version of this song never left me stunned the way this one, by Donna McElroy of the Berklee School, did:



Here's hoping you have a safe, happy, blessed and grateful Day of Giving Thanks.

Love,
Jim

On your feet

I don't know why I feel embarrassed to admit this, but I love this song. Maybe because it's country, or because it's pop, or because it's kind of schmaltzy, and of course I'm way too sophisticated for any of that.

But the doggone thing just gets me every time. It causes me to consider the opportunities I have passed up, and it makes me sad for those who make similar poor choices and fearful that children (and others) I care about will do likewise.

At the same time, though, it reminds me to seize joy when it comes around, and it serves as a kind of prayer for those I love. Every parent should give every child the message this song delivers.

I just heard a snippet of it on the radio the other day and had been thinking about it sporadically ever since, and then my "little sister" Terra -- who didn't know about my feelings about the song but obviously knows me -- just happened to e-mail it to me today.

So, enjoy. (Don't worry; I won't tell anyone.)

Godfather's Day

OK, so today is Father's Day. Kind of a neutral day for me most years. My dad died 10 years ago, and I'm not a father myself, so ... pfftht.

This morning our church put on a lovely little sketch, playing out the Steven Curtis Chapman song "Cinderella" onstage. Here's the official Chapman video on YouTube:

Let's just say I was glad I stuffed a couple of tissues in my pocket before leaving for church this morning.

The pastor at my former church makes a point every year of telling people we shouldn't glibly go around and wish every man we see a happy Father's Day. For some it's a very painful day because they didn't have a father or because the father they had was a lout (or worse).



And then there are those who, like me, feel a sense of loss at never having become a father, at knowing we'll never experience the reality of that song.

This certainly isn't a matter for pity or self-pity, since the no-kids decision was one MLW and I made jointly and consciously. And our reasoning for the decision -- there are enough mouths to feed on this planet already -- still stands up.

Nevertheless, I still feel a certain emptiness at not having had (or taken) the opportunity to raise a child.

But here's the thing. God isn't limited by our decisions or our ideas of what a family is.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in
Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

At the beginning of May, my nephew and his wife and their three children -- who had started in Michigan, lived the last three years in Florida and the last five months in Marietta, Ga. -- moved into a house three blocks from ours. The youngest of those three children is a 7-year-old blue-eyed blonde named Savannah who is my godchild. And she is CRAZY about her godfather. And I'm pretty crazy about her, too.


God has given me my Cinderella.






Don't you just love a happy ending?

Old friend, new life

So I was reading the local paper (the Atlanta Journal-Constitution) one day last month, and I saw an item about a band called Blue Flashing Light from Athens, Georgia, that had just completed a two-week tour of China.

The item quoted the band's frontman, Ian Schwarber, who said a Chinese cultural committee had sought out bands from Georgia to help celebrate Chengdu's peach festival. Apparently the famous Georgia peaches are in fact a variety that originated in Sichuan Province, where Chengdu is located.

(Chengdu is the place where Monday's devastating earthquake occurred. Please join us in praying for the folks there, and donate to a relief organization if you can.)

Accompanying the article was a tiny headshot of Schwarber. I glanced at it and kept reading. Then I stopped and went back to the photo. Then back to Schwarber's name. Then back to the photo.

I asked My Lovely Wife, who was sitting nearby, "What was the name of that kid who worked at that coffee shop back in Ohio and had a band?"

She thought for a moment but couldn't come up with it immediately.

"Was it Ian?"

"Yeah, Ian. Why"

I showed her the paper. "Isn't this him?" (I know, I should have said "he," but who talks that way?)

Her eyes grew wide and she grabbed the paper out of my hands. "That is him!" she confirmed. (Ditto.)

See, not only does Ian make a nice caffe latte and write pretty song lyrics, but he's a good-looking sonuvagun too. Here's proof:

Anyway, it turns out Ian and the boys moved from Ohio to Georgia about the same time we did, starting over in a booming college town known as a cradle of talented bands. And things seem to be going well.

You can learn all about Blue Flashing Light and hear samples of their songs at http://www.blueflashinglight.net/ or http://www.myspace.com/blueflashinglightEMup .

One of Ian's little secrets is that he is obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A deeper secret is that it was My Lovely Wife who first turned him on to Buffy through some coffee-shop evangelism.

After we discovered they were here in Georgia, MLW Googled the daylights out of BFL and learned they had an upcoming gig in the ATL. We determined to go to that show and surprise Ian. MLW even had a T-shirt made that says "Buffy Y BFL."

By the time the show date came around (last Friday night), MLW had spoken with Ian and he knew we were coming, so the element of surprise was lost. Yet and still, as they say down here, he was thrilled to see us and our faces were rocked.

Then on Monday Ian went solo and competed in the famous open mic night at legendary listening room Eddie's Attic (http://www.eddiesattic.com/) in Decatur. There were 21 singer-songwriters, and Ian unfortunately went first. He wasn't chosen as a finalist, but Eddie took him aside and said he was exercising his authority to invite Ian back to the summer shootout as a wildcard.

I don't think Ian's going to make us any more cappuccinos, but he's making great music and that's even better. And we've reconnected with an old friend who is a really good guy, which is best of all.